Renungan Harian - House Of Peace

As I rang in the New Year in January 2004, I just didn’t feel “right.” I couldn’t understand why, I mean, I ‘d graduated from one of the top universities in Florida two years prior, I was gainfully employed, and I was engaged to the only man I’ve ever loved, but I was not happy. Things weren’t right with my health. In the months prior I’d had pains, strange sensations, and sounds coming from my chest. By the New Year, I’d developed a cough that just wouldn’t go away.

I was 25 years old and thought that I was indestructible, as so many young people think before something hurts them. I believed in God at that time and accepted Jesus as my savior, but I did not necessarily have a foundation in Christ.

I went to see my doctor. After a month of x-rays and CT scans, my doctor determined I had a large mass in my chest cavity which “Could be cancer,” she said.

After a failed attempt at a needle aspiration biopsy (AKA “closed” biopsy), my PCP explained that, to help determine whether or not I had cancer, I would need to have a serious operation so that the mass could be examined.

Instead of celebrating Valentines Day 2004 with my betrothed, I was diagnosed with Stage II Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. Just as the doctors had to cut open my chest to biopsy the tumor, my heart felt ripped open and exposed. My doctor told me that I had a 17 X 9 CM tumor in my chest cavity.

I was discharged after a few days at the hospital. I was in pain and had a hard time breathing as I lie in my bed that night. I began thinking about death and became scared that I would not make it to see my next birthday. In the darkness of my bedroom, tears rolled down my face and I called out to my Lord.

“Lord,” I cried, “I can’t breathe, I am in pain, and I’m scared I’m going to die–I’m not ready. Please help me to breathe and help me to get through this.” In the darkness, I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit who said, “Everything will be okay. There will be ups and downs, but you will get through this,” He promised.

My fiancée was sleeping beside me. I whispered to him that everything was going to be okay. In his sleep, he smiled and excitedly said “That’s good!” I was immediately able to breathe, the pain in my chest ceased, and I fell asleep. The next morning, I got out of bed and told my mother, with tears of joy in my eyes, about my experience.

God guided me to an Oncologist who specialized in Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma (he is a Christian!). I went through Chemotherapy and Radiation treatments from February until August 2004. I got sick, lost my hair, and felt tired. The radiation treatments burned my skin, but I never feared death again after that night.

My cancer has been in remission since August 2004. I am so thankful for the man God sent to me. I love and will cherish him forever for fighting the cancer with me and for making me laugh during those hard times. He took care of me in so many ways and seeing that made our relationship stronger and made me love him even more. On October 2, 2004, God saw to it that I married that fine man.

I’m glad I had cancer.

The previous statement may sound crazy to some people, but if not for cancer, my relationship with God, with my husband, and with my family and friends would not be as strong as it is now. I would not have a story of faith and courage to help someone else who is going through something similar. I know the power of prayer, and I speak with my Lord often. God loves me despite all of my faults. He loves EVERYONE. All you have to do is talk to Him, pray to Him, love Him.

God has continued to bless me and my husband. My life has changed–I know I live and breathe because God wants me to. I love life, and I am happy unlike I have ever been before. God is my Father and my best friend. He is truly great and merciful!